A Tale Of Two Olafs
by MiscellaneousSoup
Summary: Anna and Elsa find out where Olaf was in between those lost childhood years and the present.


**A/N: I admit it, I'm writing this purely to see how many people will hate me. It was a random idea and it made me laugh. Honestly, I hope you like it. Have an excellent day! Read and review, if you please.**

**A Tale Of Two Olafs:**

**By MiscellaneousSoup**

One day, Anna and Elsa were lounging about in the castle's game room, playing games of pool. Olaf sat on a bench, aimlessly poking at his personal snow cloud and giggling up.

Suddenly, Elsa walked over to Olaf, causing Anna to frown in disappointment. "Come on, Elsa. Don't be a sore loser!"

Elsa shook her head. "No, Anna, it's not about that. Besides, I was winning." She ignored Anna's snickers and sat next to Olaf. "Olaf, may I please ask you a question?"

Olaf looked up. "Oh, sure, Elsa! What's up?"

Elsa frowned. "So, in between the point where I met you as a child and the point where I created you again in a fit of emotion, where were you?"

Anna also sat down on the bench. "Yeah, I've also been wondering that. Like, were you in some kind of mental limbo?"

Olaf smiled. "Oh, I was walkin' around. You know me, goofy old Olaf!" He started fidgeting with his carrot nose, pulling it out and rotating it. This did not go unnoticed by Elsa, who was now glaring at him suspiciously.

"Seriously, Olaf. I want to know. If I want to do a better job of co-ruling Arrendelle with Anna, then I have to understand how everything works, especially things of a magical nature." Her expression softened. "I understand if this is an uncomfortable subject for you. If you don't feel up to it, we can resume it later."

Olaf shook his head. "No, no, I suppose I should bring this up now." He left the bench and started pacing across the room. "You see, I'm...I'm..."

Anna gasped. "Oh! You're an alien! A robot! A living toy?"

Olaf shook his head. "No, no, and definitely not." He pulled down the three hairs on his snowy head, revealing them to be a zipper. A tall, thin, scrawny man with shiny, shiny eyes crawled out of the suit. The suit itself fell to the ground, revealing itself to be a mere potato sack covered with snow, the inside had many, many moist heat packs duct taped to it.

At once, Elsa got ready to freeze him into a statue, while Anna wielded a lethal-looking cue stick.

Count Olaf raised his hands in a gesture of peace. "No need to be alarmed. I realize that this looks odd." He coughed, his formerly jovial voice now scratchy and harsh.

Anna whacked him over the head with the cue stick. "That's disgusting! So when we were little kids, you were hiding in our castle? EW! Creepy! Wait, how does the snow on your costume work?"

Dizzy, Count Olaf sat back down on the bench, a small trickle of blood running down his forehead. "Uh, well, I kidnapped Olaf after he first appeared, tranquilized him, and I've been wearing his skin as a costume ever since. As for the rest, you're not the only one who has magic!"

Elsa fashioned a knife out of ice and pointed it at his throat. "What were you doing during the time period when Olaf wasn't created?"

Olaf laughed. "Oh, that's much easier to explain. I was attempting to kidnap three vile orphans and steal their inheritance. I had many ways of doing so. Marrying one of them, murder, legally-binding plays, arson, -"

Anna whacked him over the head again. "WE're orphans! You sick creep! Did you kill our parents?"

Olaf pulled out a disgusting hanky and started dabbing at his wounds. "Actually, no. I was still trying to get the Baudelaires. As a matter of fact, I should be going back. I'm due at Prufrock Prep. Do you have any turbans that I could borrow?"

Elsa froze him into a gleaming statue. "Anna, get the cardboard boxes. We're sending this dirtbag to the one person who's even worse."

…

The Duke Of Weaselton opened his door, ready for his daily jog. He loved going around the city and sneering at all of them, all while randomly spouting a stream-of-consciousness babble. As soon as he ran out of the door like a marathon runner, he slammed into the statue. "What the blazes is this? Ooh, a card! 'For You, Duke! This statue precisely exemplifies the kind of ethics you showcase every day.' How nice! I'll take it inside right now!"

**THE END**

**A/N: Quick side note. Why didn't I have them deliver Count Olaf to Hans? Ummmmm….Hans is dead. He died in prison. A rock gave him a concussion and he drowned in his own drool. There. How's that for an off-the-top-of-my-head answer?**


End file.
